Sunday, 27 December 2015

I am good

Some self affirmation, speak over yourself! 

I am good enough

Me, moi, yo

I don't need anything else, cooler clothes
Better hair, a better body, or voice

I am good enough

Me, moi, I

I don't need to convince anyone, to show my scars
To demonstrate, that

I am good enough
The way I am, and worthy
Of Love

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Existence

I've been trying to finish a novel and thus haven't posted much but wanted to comment briefly on existence. In response to American jurist Antonin Scalia I've seen a lot of social media and television commentary seeking to disprove the notion that blacks are inferior. The inanity in trying to disprove something so ridiculous has me thinking about larger notions of existence. 

Existence

There are some people who hate you for even existing
There's nothing you can do to appease them
Your very being is the problem

James Baldwin once wrote that if white people wanted to understand what it felt like to be black they should ask themselves "how does it feel to be a problem?"

I think there's some merit in that but I also think internalizing what others think is always dangerous
There are some people who hate you for even existing
You should never have to make a justification for being

This is because your life is a miracle
No matter your race class gender so much has conspired over human history to stop you from walking the earth
But you made it, whether through love, hate, accident, or belief, you are here

Thus, your very existence is a victory
You should never make excuses and justify it

There are some people who hate you for even existing
They wish you were never here

Speak life and victory into each day and prove them wrong 

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Crescent Love



Today I saw the most mysterious and beautiful crescent moon
I thought of my Muslim relatives, but also how peaceful the moon is for Christians too and I wrote this. 

Crescent Love

I thought of unconditional love, the meaning
And I accepted that it's about peace
Peace of mind, peace of self, the piece of another, intertwined with you

It means giving of yourself, a piece, without fear, and receiving unconditionally

We have our own ideas, visions, of what love is, what we want, what we need

But that is love of self, not true love

Life is hard, life is a struggle

Hold my hand

Come with me and I'll come with you

Because true love sits peacefully like the beautiful moon, waiting to be embraced 

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Flashback: Saint-Louis Senegal


I knew when I looked at the night sky of Saint-Louis that the desire to know and learn about the world ran through my veins

I would have always been a scholar, a marabout, a scribe, a traveler
because these stars pose too many unanswered questions
too many mysteries of my past, present and future

that I had to at least try to understand
and help others understand as well

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Breathe


Breathe

I touch my abdomen

Breathe

Trauma, pain, anxiety, stress, schedule

Breathe

So much I'm holding within
That I want to let go

Breathe

Imagine
Seeing you
Like a bird

Breathe

You touch my abdomen

Free

Monday, 31 August 2015

Rainy day in London



It's a rainy day in London I always like jazz when it rains

I nodded awake to sounds of the xylophone, some guy named Bobby Hutcherson from something over 50 years ago but it had Freddie Hubbard on it too and it sounded like magic

I went out the train platform was empty I looked at my phone I meant to buy that Bobby Hutcherson album but was tempted by the new album from The Weekend 

I bought The Weekend

I got on the train but then I bought that Bobby Hutcherson album too

I came back home and watched the rain fall on a quiet street from my window jazz was playing candles were lit food was cooking it's a rainy day in London.

The weekend can wait.

Sunday, 30 August 2015

Women are complicated.

Over 10 years ago, I traveled very far to see a girlfriend who totally blanked me and wouldn't speak to me. I came bearing flowers and gifts and only met resentment and anger, and a few days on the couch before an early departure home. I was confused a long time by that experience but only now am I realising what I should have said:

Women are complicated and I just didn't know what to say, which was I'm sorry and I love you. And. 

I want to be with you. And. 

I put you ahead of ambition, of ego, of career, of everything. And I'm sorry. 

That's what I didn't say then. 

I took your anger as rejection, and not for what I should have, which was a request, for dignity and love. 

I'm sorry.